WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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