The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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