I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
