is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize