I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
