How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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