I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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