if only i could text you this smell
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
