Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
