So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
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