I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
