Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
