i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
