Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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