is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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