forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
