I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
