But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
