I cannot find my penis.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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