No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just want nice things and good sex
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
