Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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