I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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