I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
