did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize