Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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