Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
