Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
