Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
