i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
