Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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