he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
