True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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