Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
