margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
