I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
