I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
