Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
