i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
