You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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