I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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