Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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