Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
