good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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