when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
and she was petting her beer can
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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