oh god the rape fog is back!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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