My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
