it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
