we have pet lesbian snakes
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
