just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Randomize
