Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
