if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize