its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
