so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
