Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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