in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
