i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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