We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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