Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
