around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
