Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
