I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
