just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
