i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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