Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
