So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize