when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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