I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
