belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
