she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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