I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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