sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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