Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
