fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
