we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
