Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
