Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
