I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
