Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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