So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
